Due to popular demand, I have decided to write another bog concerning the villains of Twitter.  (Part one is Here) It’s like I’m some sort of masked vigilante or something. Minus the mask. And most of the ‘vigilante’. Anyway, on with show. Or blog.

7. Serial Followers

Offense: Following so many people that when someone you actually know tweets to you, you can’t see it on your homepage. This makes communication hard and the offender look slightly desperate. However, if you are a celebrity, it might brighten your fans’ day to have you follow them. Or me. Following me is alright too.

Example:

Followers: 10

Following: 123335457037645287364598236459827364572634587629348562384562834

Sentence:

Followers: 0

8. TWEETING IN CAPS LOCK

Offense: Typing Tweets in capitals. One word is acceptable. A short phrase perhaps. But remember folks: Caps Lock is a ‘sometimes key’

Example: HEY GUYS HOW ARE YOU HAVE YOU SEEN THE TRAILER FOR NEW MOON! VAMP BOY DUMPS HER… DEVO!

or

JUST ATE BREAKFAST CORNFLAKES AGAIN. GOSH.

First Offense: Once is ok. Maybe you were really excited about Family Force 5′s Dance or Die CD. I was. Just a quick link to this blog is enough. Further offences: A loud spruker sent to their house at 4 am in the morning and with a megaphone will shout out every one of their tweets. Because caps lock is cyber-shouting. CAPS LOCK IS A SOMETIMES KEY!

9. Spammers

Offense: Posting spam

Example: Make a Gazillion-Trillion-Million Dollars by sitting on your butt all day!

First offense: A Gazillion-Trillion-Million Dollars @replies outlining the precise amount of disdain the rest of the world has for the scum of the cyber-universe.

10. People with terrible Display Pictures.

Offense: having a display picture that is lame, vague, or just stupid.

Example: Go to any 14.5 year old girl’s myspace, provided they have taken the picture of themselves, you’ll see what I mean.

First offense: Their picture replaced by the words ‘this image can not be displayed. Its cliched appearance is only outweighed by its tastelessness.” Further offenses: Unleash the photoshop.

11. Serial Taggers

Offense: Shamelessly tagging your tweets with topics unrelated to the tweet itself.

Example: Hey guys how are you all? #twilightisno1 #marrymeRpatz

or

#marrymeRpatz #marrymeRpatz #marrymeRpatz #marrymeRpatz #marrymeRpatz #iamhotterthanbella

First Offense: Actually, a few occurrences of the first example is just fine, provided that that your favorite band, actor etc. is trying to get into the trending topics at this time. However, if this continues after this event, then the tag #(username)isatwitterphail. Further Offenses: Unfollowed by all, so that no one has to read their shameless propaganda.

There are so many more things filled with twitter-y goodness that I could write about… and I think I will. Because I can. Maybe it will be like a web series that never ends… until the internet is full… which apparently will happen in 2012. Oh well. Worst Case Senario: They powers that be can just delete facebook. It will soon be redundant with all this twittering about. (Yes, I hear your gasps… and I laugh…)